In the car this morning:
Girl: Let’s have a ghost story!
Me: No. Way.
Girl & Boy (together, difficult to differentiate): Please! Why not?? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! WHY NOT?
Me: Because the last time we had a ghost story, you (glancing at the Girl) started to cry, and you (glancing at the Boy) wouldn’t go to bed on your own that night.
Girl & Boy (deflated): Oh.
Baby: Kessuns! KESSUNS!
Girl & Boy: Yes! Questions!
Me: Ok. Um... What is your favourite movie?
Baby: Jassick Pak!
Girl: Star Wars!
Baby: JASS-ICK PAK!
Me: You haven’t seen Godzilla.
Boy: But I would do if you weren’t SO MEAN, and it’s still my favourite film. WHICH YOU WON'T LET ME SEE.
Baby: JASS-ICK PAK! No, weet... In-yany Zone! INYANY -ZONE!
Girl: Which one Moog – Raiders of the Lost Arc, Temple of Doom or the Lost Crusade?
Boy: It’s the LAST Crusade
Baby: Umm... TEMPA-DOOM! MORE KESSUNS!
Me: Ok, um... What do you think is the yuckiest smell?
Baby (Gleefully): Woof woof!
Boy (More gleefully): Bum!
Baby (More gleefully still): Woof woof bum! YUCKY!
Girl (Ernestly): Penis.
Me (Brightly): Right! Music?
Baby: Music! MUSIC! Fow-now-cow-dow!
Girl: No! I hate that!
Boy: Yes Mum, PLEASE!
Baby (I swear): Da-na-na-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa FOWNOWCOWDOW!
And so it came to pass that I arrived at school with Europe blaring out of the car, two of the three children competing to see who could bang their heads the fastest, one contemplating scent-of-a-penis, and me reconsidering my stance on the school bus.