Friday, 30 May 2014

Weekly Review

The Good
I got a doctor’s appointment!
We go to Europe in less than 2 weeks!
I’m not covered in blisters!

The Bad
The Girl is sick sick sick. It is, of course, entirely my own fault, for having mused, aloud, on Monday about our good fortune in none of them being really sick (leprosy aside) since we got here.  That, and the Man’s travelling schedule this week, ensured a human furnace as my bed-fellow these past 3 nights.  I’d never seen a thermometer with a 40.7 reading before.  Who knew?  Tropics Schmopics.

OhGodOhGod, the nightmare that is packing for, and travelling with, children.  I cleverly packed away all their “European” clothes (so called to make them sound chic;  in fact they’re just warm) when we got here, to ease the hell of packing.  Totally forgetting, of course, that children grow like weeds.  Nothing fits.  (Actually, not true;  the Boy’s fit the Girl, and the Girl’s fit the Baby – how???  - but neither will allow their younger sibling ownership of “their” clothes.)  So at some point, as well as the sickness and the packing and the panicing and the not sleeping, I have to find a shop here that sells stuff with long sleeves, which is not made out of polyester.  Not as easy as it sounds.

The Ugly
Older people in Singapore – possibly throughout Asia – are called / referred to  as “Auntie / Uncle” by children .  So the old man who clears plates at the hawker market is an uncle (I would have thought he was more of a great-grandmother, but let’s not get too technical), and the older – tho not so ancient – women who help on the school buses are Aunties.  Last week TWO children referred to me, in SEPARATE INCIDENTS, as “Auntie”.  Jesus Christ.  Yes, I am somebody’s auntie (many in fact), but JESUSCHRIST kids... Seriously? So anyway, I was so traumatised that I booked self in for some Fraxxelling. Basically you get your skin lasered off, and then new skin, the skin of a baby unicorn, eventually appears from within your cocoon of scabs.   At least that’s what I was expecting.  And frankly, for the cost, that is what anyone should expect.  Except there were no scabs. No new baby skin.  Really - no difference whatsoever.  

Then some little fucker said “excuse me Auntie” at the petrol station today.

Next Week:  I go gift shopping.  (Spoiler alert:  Singapore is shit for buying stuff.) 


  1. I'd heard great things about fraxel, but dont you need a few treatments before you start to shine? I had IPL done a few years ago and for about a week I looked like id fallen asleep in the sun while wearing baby oil!

  2. Aaahh, a cocoon of scabs. That sounds simply divine!

  3. I hate being referred to as Miss Simply. Call me Miss LastName is fine but I worked with a chick who kept trying to call me Miss Simply until I said "bitch, you are not my help, you are my colleague, knock that off".

    I'm used to the "ma'am" thing, unfortunately.