Four days away, and my brain seems to have been wiped of all (a) stress (hurrah!); and (b) parenting acumen. Which is a combination I’d recommend, especially if you forget the following:
- The reason she’s humming and not asleep, despite it being 90 mins into her naptime, is that she’s done a poo
- The reason she’s humming and not asleep, despite it being 120 mins into her naptime (ie, the end of her nap) is that you forgot to turn the light off
- He should never be given access to a garden hose
- Or a garden trowel
- When he responds to “What are you doing out there?” with “Just making a swimming pool, Mummy”, you need to intervene immediately
- If he’s tugging his front bits, he DOES need a wee, despite what he might say
- If he’s tugging his back bits, he DOES need a poo, despite what he might say
- She shouldn’t be left to chew on a lime
- Or a lemon
- Or the discarded garden trowel
- He pees – standing up - as soon as he gets into the bath
- She shouldn't be put in the bath first
Other things I forgot were:
How flippin’ BIG they both are. Seriously. She looks like a 2 yr old, he looks like a 5 yr old. It’s frightening.
How funny they are. She spends the day shrieking with joy (must be the joy of being ignored most of the time, poor thing), while he comes out with the best lines (“Mummy, you came back! I thought I’d lost you in the park...”)
How much I adore them both.
It was good to get back. Although truth be told, slightly better to get away in the first place.
Love it - glad you're back!
ReplyDeleteAll so obvious, yet all so easy to forget!
ReplyDeleteWell done for having a Foreign Break! I love my children so much more when I've escaped them for a few days. No, that's not true: I love them all the time. After a break, I tell them to fuck off less.
ReplyDeleteI have a present for you. When your children have grown up and left home and you have a chance to email me, I'm at whoopee at smallwalrus dot com. I can't find a way to email you, which could be because I'm stupid.