Grumbles

Singapore is fabulous for many things, but when it comes to Customer Service, it is what Norway is to the Eurovision – Nul Points. In fact, based on my wholly non-scientific enquiries, it’s the biggest bugbear of ex-pats here.  Especially the poor Americans – coming from a country where the Customer is King, to one where She’s a Bit of a Hassle actually (and can’t you see I’m trying to check something on my tablet?) –  it must be torturous. It’s pretty painful for those of us from countries where customer service isn’t even that great. 

Today I spent the day racing around the island trying to sort out the kids’ Santa presents.  (It’s the same every year; mid-December finds me snarling and spitting and vowing to be like my friend S, who has Christmas shopping done and dusted by the end of November.  [She’ll now comment to say MID NOVEMBER ACTUALLY.]) 

God, I was exposed to so many idiots today.  Seriously.  It’s like there’s a Fools’ Convention going on.   Surely people who work at the Information Desk at shopping malls should, you know, have a bit of information?  I asked one woman where the toyshop was.  Once I explained what I meant by “toyshop” (“A shop that sells toys?”) she pointed in the general “up” direction.  (There were 4 floors above us).  Um, where exactly?  “Upstairs.”  Off I went.  It was SHUT DOWN.   I went to another place. “What time does the toyshop open at?”  She was stumped. No idea.  And no amount of staring at the mall map would enlighten her.  Eventually her colleague butted in.  11.  Or maybe 12. Or 12.30?  It was then 1045.  They seemed thoroughly nonplussed.  (I imagined the interview which got them here:  “How you would describe yourself?”  “Moronic.” “Where do you stand on the concept of Helpfulness?” “Helpful people should be shot.”  “You’re hired.”)

I then headed to the Science Museum, a million miles away.  They’re showing a Transformers’ Exhibition (If you Granny was to create a Transformers’ Exhibition, that’s what it would look like) and had a Transformers shop.  With – honestly - barely had a thing on the shelves.  Except!  The exact thing I needed  on a shelf behind the man. Could he sell it to me?  No.  Obviously  he needed it to showcase what they were  - had been - selling.  AAAAAAAARGH.

HOWEVER:  (a) I am just in from drinks with lovely co-parents;  (b) I have found a place which sells good tea; (c) our relatives are here and have brought with  them English (proper) chocolate “for the kids” (which is, fortuitously, currently in my bedroom); (d) I have remembered – and indeed gotten creative with – the Elf every night this week; and (e) on my travels today I came across this shop, which amused me no end:

(I know, right??) I can't decide if it's better than my favourite clothes shop, Wanki.  Thoughts?