And the Award for the Most Boring Post goes to...

I’ve been struggling a bit this week.  Not because of the P thing – or rather, not only because of the P thing – but I’m just a bit bored with myself at the moment.  Blah-blah-blah whine-whine-whine sober-sober-sober.  That’s about it really.  Such fun to be me.

But then I found out that I’m into the finalists for a blogging award, and so now I’m torn between rather high levels of excitement, and... well,  slight shame. 

The award, you see, is for Best Food Blog.

And while certainly some evidence might indicate that this is something of a food blog (the recipes, the photos, the, um, recipes...), when I look at the other finalists, I think – blimey.  They have proper photos and everything.  But RL?  As far as I’m concerned it’s primarily an online version of me muttering under my breath, and bossing people about (two things I do very well).  Occasionally I have it in mind that perhaps I’m performing something of a social service  (to all you parents out there (a) you are NOT ALONE,  and (b) you are almost certainly a better parent that I am) but really and truly, I’ve never thought of this as a food blog.

But I don’t want to do a disservice to all of you who voted for me.  THANK YOU.  And to the lovely, intelligent, beautiful judges who clearly felt sorry for me, given My Condition, and kept me on board - thank you too. 

Even though I feel like a COMPLETE FRAUD* (seriously – Best Food Blog???), it’s made my day.  I promise I’ll try harder with the photos in future.  (Tho' I can’t make any similar promises about my parenting.)  

So now that the ante has been upped, I thought I’d better start making more of an effort.  Not only with the presentation of the recipes on my FOOD BLOG, but actually with what I make at home.  The bottom line is, as well as being boring, I’m terminally lazy.  If a recipe calls for more than two cooking steps or makes even a bit of a mess, then I back away. 

I made an exception for this, however.  Primarily because it pulls together two of my favourite things:  puff pastry (ready-made!  ready-rolled!) and cheese.  (Ah, cheese.  How much do I love thee,  food of Satan.) 

I can’t, alas, attest to the family-friendliness of them, as I scoffed the lot in one evening.   (Who ate all the pies?  The large ravenous bird, natch.)

Popeye Pie

You need (For 4.  Or 1, Full With Child)

• One pack of ready-rolled puff pastry
• 500g spinach
• 200g pack of feta cheese, cut into small chunks
• 2 or 3 spring onions, chopped
• Squeeze of lemon Juice
• Handful of pinenuts
• 2 eggs
• Olive oil, for frying

Preheat the oven to 200 / gas 6.

Heat the oil in a large deep saucepan, and fry the spring onions until soft – about 5 minutes. 

Shred the spinach as finely as you can, wash it, and drain, and throw it in on top of the spring onions.  Cover the pan until the spinach has completely wilted, then squeeze it against the side of the pan with the back of a wooden spoon, to release excess water.  With as much dexterity as you can muster, drain away the fluid (it’s ok to pick the cooked spinach out of the sink and put it back in the pan – just don’t let anyone see you). 

Toast the pinenuts in a dry frying pan, and add to the spinach in the pan.  Throw in the feta, the lemon, and most of the egg, stirring well to prevent the eggs from cooking.  (You want to leave about a tablespoon of egg for brushing the pastry.)

Unroll the majesty that is ready-made puff pastry, and cut into 8 squares.   Place one square on a baking tray (oiled, or lined with baking paper), put a couple of large tablespoons of the spinach mix on one half, and fold the pasty over to cover.  Seal the pastry by pressing down on the edges with a fork – you can get arty with this if you like. Repeat with each of the pastry squares. 

Brush them all with some of the beaten egg, stab a hole in the top, and put into the hot oven until golden brown and crispy.

By this stage you have probably lost the will to live, and be cursing your stupidity in getting fancy with the cooking. But fear not!  Soon - about 20-25 mins - you will have your very own bundle of joy to coo over,  and then GOBBLE UP. 

Honestly, it’s all worth it in the end. 

*Which is not to say, of course that you shouldn’t vote for me... DO DO DO!  Just don’t go looking at the other finalists’ sites, because you’ll get carried away with all the lovely pictures and the way they can write about food without whinging about their horrible offspring and then, in all consciousness, you really won’t be able to bring yourselves to vote for me.