Just another everyday school run.

In the car this morning: 

Girl:  Let’s have a ghost story!

Me:  No. Way.

Girl & Boy (together, difficult to differentiate):  Please! Why not?? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! WHY NOT?

Me:  Because the last time we had a ghost story, you (glancing at the Girl) started to cry, and you (glancing at the Boy) wouldn’t go to bed on your own that night. 

Girl & Boy (deflated): Oh.

Baby:  Kessuns!  KESSUNS!

Girl & Boy:  Yes!  Questions!

Me:   Ok.  Um... What is your favourite movie?

Baby:  Jassick Pak! 

Girl:  Star Wars!

Baby:  JASS-ICK PAK!

Boy: Godzilla!

Me: You haven’t seen Godzilla.

Boy:  But I would do if you weren’t SO MEAN, and it’s still my favourite film.  WHICH YOU WON'T LET ME SEE.  

Baby:  JASS-ICK PAK!  No, weet...  In-yany Zone!  INYANY -ZONE!

Girl:  Which one Moog – Raiders of the Lost Arc, Temple of Doom or the Lost Crusade?

Boy:  It’s the LAST Crusade

Baby:  Umm... TEMPA-DOOM!  MORE KESSUNS!

Me:  Ok, um... What do you think is the yuckiest smell?

Baby (Gleefully): Woof woof!

Boy (More gleefully): Bum! 

Baby (More gleefully still): Woof woof bum! YUCKY!

Girl (Ernestly): Penis.

Pause.

Me (Brightly):  Right! Music?

Baby:  Music!  MUSIC!  Fow-now-cow-dow!

Girl:  No!  I hate that!

Baby:  FOWNOWCOWDOW!

Boy:  Yes Mum, PLEASE!

Baby (I swear):  Da-na-na-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa FOWNOWCOWDOW!

And so it came to pass that I arrived at school with Europe blaring out of the car, two of the three children competing to see who could bang their heads the fastest, one contemplating scent-of-a-penis, and me reconsidering my stance on the school bus.