I smell like rotten spit

It’s been another poxy weekend.  The hand foot & mouth has, thankfully, been banished; alas, tonsillitis – my tonsillitis – has replaced it. I’ve never had tonsillitis before.  My sister, I recall vaguely, used to get it as a child, and I assumed it was more or less a sore throat, with a bit of a complaining and malingering thrown in for good measure.  (Sorry Rache.  It may have taken 35 years but I get it now.) Bloody hell it’s awful.  I’m no longer collapsing every time I stand up, and sweating or shivering (or both) every time I lie down, but it’s still awful. 

Added to the pain and the all-encompassing STARVATION – because what the tonsillitis fairies don’t tell you is that everything you eat is akin to shredded glass – is, at least in our family, the ritual humiliation by the small people.  Dropping the kids off to school today, in a fug of fever and malnourishment-induced wooziness, the Girl turned to hug me and then backed away in obvious disgust, stating “your smell” as the reason.  (As a courtesy to my children, and any innocent passers-by, I had in fact showered– my first in three days! which hurt my skin  - but apparently My Smell lingered.)  Then this evening the Boy told me that my breath smelt of “rotten spit”, which is always nice to hear.   On the plus side, I then threatened him with My Breath if he misbehaved, which of course he did immediately, at which point I held him down and breathed into his face, and watched as he turned gratifyingly green. I guess there are some upsides to tonsillitis.

Another upside was that I rediscovered my old, but fabulous, blender – forced, as I was, into the furthest corner of a dank kitchen cupboard by a growling stomach and a yearning for something icy and slushy.  Since Friday night I have been subsisting on smoothies and gazpacho.  (And paracetomol, and some sort of antibiotics.  Also, today, a culinary breakthrough:  mashed potatoes!  Which were heaven itself.)  My smoothies have all been taking the form of banana, some sort of frozen fruit (strawberries, the most seeded raspberries known to man, or mango), yoghurt, and orange juice.  I’m stuck in a smoothie rut somewhat, so if anyone has any good recipes (which don’t necessitate sieving, or listening to children complain about THE PIPS) please let me know.  

Gazpacho however... Ah. Basically a vegetable smoothie with some olive oil and vinegar.  And ice - blessed, blessed, ice.  Here’s how I made it (totally off the top of my head, so apologies to all you proper cooks): 

(If anyone has a more disgusting counter-top, I'd be curious to see it.) 

Into the blender I put:  1 chopped up red pepper (deseeded, but not peeled. Life is too short.);  a tin of plum tomatoes (HERESY, I know. It’s easy tho’); half a clove of garlic; one cucumber, peeled, deseeded (very roughly, using the back of a spoon) and chopped;  about ten tablespoons of olive oil, and about 5 of balsamic vinegar.  (You can use any vinegar.  I used balsamic because it’s the least astringent, and my throat, my throat...).  Blend until smooth, pour over ice, and... Eat?  Drink? 

Consume.    

Then go breathe garlic – and rotten spit – all over your astonishingly loud, and sick-bed-unfriendly, children.  Or indeed anyone else who is foolish enough to cross your germ-ridden path.