Out with the old...

We decided that, it being New Year's Eve and all, a teeny lunchtime drink was in order. (Also we felt compelled to celebrate no longer sitting in a hot car in traffic.) So we got a bottle of champagne, and then a bottle of wine, and even while the sweet sweet nectar was slipping down my throat, I was thinking - no good can come of this. Because everyone knows that mid-day drinking - whether it's just one beer, or a big blow-out - is one of the (many) casualties of parenthood.  The inevitable evening hangover - perfectly timed to coincide with kids' dinner and bed-time - has for us been accentuated by a trip with the girls to the doctor; through the afternoon fog of fermented grapes I realized that actually, four days with a temperature probably isn't healthy. The doctor  announced with some flourish that the Girl had sand in her ear, and armed us with all manner of questionable tinctures and remedies, including cough syrup and some sort of ointment. Thinking about it, I'm not in fact sure that he was a doctor at all. Or else he was taking advantage of my slight inability to focus properly, and decided to clear out some old medicine cabinet, which is probably fair enough. (He could probably have even found something in there for my belly button, which my 3 year old nephew told me today was 'not normal at all'.)

So - It's New Year's Eve!  (Gosh. 2015. It sounds like something from a sci-fi film doesn't it?) My hopes for this new year are that it'll be much like the old one just passed - relatively uneventful, but with a few small adventures thrown in.  Perhaps less kiddie-vomit and fewer nappies (seriously, I'm having a party the day the Baby gets her toilet-act together), and more good books and even better cocktails (although only in the evening, obviously). I have given up on resolutions, because seriously -What Is The Point? - but I think I will try not to drive quite so much, and to shout at other drivers less when I do drive. (I reserve the right to shout at any people who happen to be related to me, and in the car, however.). I might also try to cook a bit more - although honestly, our kitchen is SO HOT and grocery shopping SO TORTUROUS that I really find it hard to muster up much cooking enthusiasm. (Plus what's the point in having a maid if you're not going to get her to do every single little thing for you? Christ, I'll be expected to dress myself next.)

Anyway. It's time to recommence drinking and put the kids to bed (possibly not in that order.) I'll leave you with my top parenting lessons learnt in 2014:

• A block of cheese, a lump of butter, bread, and a pack of pasta shapes gives you about 7 different dinner options. 
• If they cough twice then stare at you strangely, you have 4 seconds to either get them off your lap, or grab the sick bowl. 
• Always always always carry a change of clothes for yourself when you travel. Or at least a pack of wipes. 
• There is no point having expensive sunglasses until your children leave home. 
• Sharing a bed with a child is a great idea only if you wish to get no sleep whatsoever. 
• And finally: Chubba Chubs. The cheapest 10 minutes' peace you'll ever buy. 

Happy New Year!