More Forbidden Foods. Also, CAT NEWS. Sort of.

It’s time for a cat update.  Currently, the house looks like this:  every set of net curtains (Singaporean landlords love net curtains) is tied up several feet off the ground, to prevent the ruination thereof;  there are bits of dried cat food scattered everywhere, a feline protest, I assume at the sudden change of brand (to one which I hope is less of a diuretic); there are three bags of cat litter  stacked up outside the main bathroom, in the hope that I find one which actually works;  I have water squirters stationed throughout the house, beside all tempting soft furnishings; and the main bathroom now resembles a room in the house of a mad old cat lady.  A cat lady who hoards and squats. 

The cats themselves have rooted their regal selves to the (soft-top) luggage under the Girl’s bed, and are refusing to come out until all their food demands have been met.  While not ideal – at least for the children – this is far preferable to the sight which greeted me last night, post-kids’ bedtime, when I had just started tucking into Mummy’s Little Liquid Helper:  cats licking each other’s bottoms.  Sibling cats.  Surely that is against all the laws of nature? 

I am quite over it, to be honest, and they’d better knuckle down and start being cute – and CLEAN – or else... Or else I don’t know*.  We’re stuck with them now. 

Here’s a further example of something I cannot eat – but even more annoying than nuts or crisps, I actually made this as an adults’ treat.  Far too nice to waste on the children, I decided.  And yet now, that is all it is good for.  Tho’ I guess I could feed it to the cats?

Maple Syrup Granola

(Look, it's nearly empty!  Little thieving bastards. Also, I concede that it looks like crunchy sawdust, but I promise, it's FABULOUS.)

As with the Almond Milk, you can make as little or as much of this as you want.  I’d suggest starting with 3 measures (a cup or a glass or whatever you have to hand) of oats and lining everything up with that;  it yields enough for a couple of weeks’ of breakfasts for one. Or so I’m told.

You need – in the following proportions:

• 6 : Rolled (not instant) Oats
• 3:  Nuts & seeds (any mixture, whatever you have / like)
• 2:  Desiccated coconut
• 1:  Maple syrup
• 2/3: Oil (canola, sunflower or plain olive oil.  Or a mix. Or whatever you like. Gross, and grossly-overrated, coconut oil might work too, although BLUUUUUUGH)
• A pinch or two or whatever of salt.

Preheat oven to 300 / 150 / Gas 2.

In a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients then add the maple syrup and the oil.  Stir really well to coat everything in the oil/syrup, then spread the mixture out in 1 (for 3 measures’ base) or 2 (for 6) baking trays lined with paper.

Stick in the oven and leave for 40/  45 mins, stirring a couple of times at 15-or-so minute intervals, so that everything gets evenly browned.   Once cooked, leave to cool before decanting into a jar, and ignore for the next 7 months eat as you would any granola. (So, by the handful, while you’re waiting for dinner to cook.)

*I DO know!  No catnip, ever. That should do it.