To the enormous horror and scorn of my
US friends (one of whom brought her son for his first check-up when he was TWO
MONTHS OLD. I am not kidding. THAT is why they all have such gorgeous
teeth) the Boy had his first visit to the dentist this week. Yes, he is 7.
Yes, I know I know… Having said that, the dentist told me that 6 is a
good age for the first visit so I’m only nearly two years a year out. And anyway his teeth are fine. (Except for the teeny tiny cavity on one
of them...)
GAH.
It is so teeny however, that we can leave it, but he has to brush – and floss – his teeth three times a day,
which is a ballache of magnificent proportions, and so far – two days in – has resulted
in his brushing them three times in the space of four hours, because he – we –
keep forgetting / get distracted / are late for school etc. The other ballache –
there are two (appropriately enough) – was getting handed a bill for the
check-up-and-xray-and-clean… for $300. I
actually flinched, and I no longer flinch at the cost of things here (because
otherwise I would be constantly flinching, and would have to wear a neck
brace). Which leaves me with the dilemma
of knowing that I know need to bring the Girl for a check-up, but honestly –
THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS? I can buy fake
wooden teeth for less than that…
Which actually, I may need anyway, because
last night - with a squeak and a gasp
and a look of abject horror – she spat out her first lost tooth. The poor thing looked as if her legs had just
dropped off. And it’s not as if this was
a surprise – she’d been worrying that tooth nonstop all week. So out it popped and we had the obligatory I
Lost My Tooth photo, wherein she looks aghast, and then she played with it all
day, and she and the Boy schemed about how much she could fleece the Tooth Fairy
for (because apparently the Tooth Fairy is both a Grown Up, and “loaded” and as
such is ripe for fleecing; the Boy reckoned
she could demand $15, which I would definitely have gone for (if only to help
with the dental bills) but then I remembered which pot the Tooth Fairy’s
donations come from.) But in the end
she decided she didn’t want the Tooth Fairy to take her tooth after all – she wants
to keep it and make a necklace out of it (or something), so PHEW, we are up $15
(but still down $300, so a nett loss of $285, on teeth WHICH ARE JUST GOING TO
FALL OUT FFS...)
Speaking of teeth and the like, you may
remember that I was due to be finished with my vanity-led orthodontic treatment
a couple of months ago. Except they just
weren’t straight. “Yes they are,” said
the dentist (in fact “dentist”, because I am no longer certain he is in any way
qualified); “No they’re not” I countered. And so we went back and forth like this for
some time, with me showing him the snaggle tooth, still snaggly, and him
deadpan telling me that “in his professional opinion”, they were perfectly
straight. So then he rolled his eyes –
literally – and said FINE (in the way that the Baby says it when she’s run out
of excuses for staying up) and WE’LL SEE WHAT THE BRACE MANUFACTURERS HAVE TO
SAY ABOUT THAT (which is not something the Baby ever says, but by God the tone
was 100% hers). And so it turned out
that what the brace manufacturers had to say about that seems to have been
something along the lines of “Oooops, we did a terrible job, here, stick a load
of attachments on her teeth so they look like they’re splintering off, and here
are SEVEN MONTHS’ worth of additional braces”.
Which doesn’t exactly scream “Professional Opinion” (or indeed professional anything)
to me.
So now I’ve been thinking, and here’s my
plan. For reasons unclear even to myself, I have kept all the old retainers
(the cats like to play with them) - so I
will just use these on the kids in years to come, and we’ll all have the same
fabulous teeth. What can possibly go
wrong?
Though I am regularly horrified by how much everything costs in your neck of the woods, a dentist bill for cleaning and x-rays would be $300 here, easy. I live in a smallish city in the middle of the U.S., where things aren't horribly expensive.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone here has beautiful teeth, only the people on TV and anyone wealthy enough to travel outside the U.S. Poor people with little or no dental care (or access, if you're rural) can have horrifying teeth. It's a class issue, really. You can't get good jobs with bad teeth.
I was blessed with perfectly straight adult teeth, but I have relatives with 2 teeth left in their mouths. Just thinking about them makes me want to brush and floss...
So! Take the girl in, and perhaps sign up for one less child enrichment activity. You don't want to cart them to it after school anyway :)
Thanks Nicole. You are right of course. I'm still tempted by the wooden teeth tho. Also, growing up one of my good friends had to pay for her own dental bills if she had a cavity - which is a fabulous idea. Except, as the Boy pointed out, he only has enough in his bank account to shake the dentist's hand. (The Girl wouldn't even have enough to phone the dentist.) So we are stuck with the cost, and as you point out, one less class and/or a few less cocktails... (OR, wooden teeth)
ReplyDeleteYou're right. The cost of dental care is a HUGE headache. I don't claim to know everything, but I do know that pediatric dentists can often put you on a payment plan so you can afford the care over time. Sharing retainers doesn't seem like a good idea because they can become bent out of shape with wear.
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